Cupcakes

How to make a cake for your mom's birthday:
Step 1: find the cake mix in the pantry and realize you have no eggs. 
Step 2: Google cake mix with no eggs. And see you can sub applesauce. 
Step 3: kids eat all the applesauce you just found - Google again. You can use a can of diet soda!
Step 4: no diet soda so find club soda - all is good I am sure.
Step 5: remember mom like chocolate cake so melt a candy bar and and that.
Step 6: make cupcakes with the batter... They seem like a better idea with the current situation
Step 6: decide to make cream cheese frosting - you have cream cheese!
Step 7: find all of the ingredients but realize you need more powdered sugar - Google that... And put sugar in the ninja to make some from regular sugar.
Step 8: use pliers to unscrew the ninja blender top stuck with sugar.
Step 9: add newly made powder sugar and realize it was not done as the frosting is crunchy.
Step 10: try to use a hair dryer to warm the frosting while it whips to make it not crunchy (thanks again Google!)
Step 11: throw away frosting and go to trader joes for new frosting just to realize they do not carry frosting.
Step 12: buy more stuff to make frosting.
Step 13: get home to realize you do not have butter
Step 14: ask your sister to buy frosting...

Revelations

In my year quest to cook all of my recipes I have pinned I have come to a conclusion... I am not exactly a "pin-fail" person, but a "pin-whatinthehellisinmykitchenIcansubstituteforthat" person. Some good ideas have emerged. Some bad... very bad (insert cupcake incident here). It has made me a better cook, creating some great recipes without fear and even writing them down (GASP!). Here is a sample of tonight's menu... I will let you know how it tastes:
Maple Dijon Chicken
4 thawed chicken breasts (3 frozen ones should do)
1/4 cup dijon mustard (hmmm. spicy brown is all I have)
1/4 cup Maple syrup (Matt does not like sweet.. only add a squirt or 2)
Rice vinegar (the other recipe says white vinegar... add a little of both)
onion powder (out... oh well!)
Mix the sauce (done!)
Dip chicken in sauce and place in shallow pan (put frozen breasts in a random pan and pour the sauce over)
Cover with salt and pepper before pouring extra sauce on (oops - salt and pepper on top of sauce - done!)
Put in a pan and bake at 400 for 20 minutes (that does not seem long enough. Put frozen breasts in the over and set the delay time to come on at 4:00 and check it later...)
I am sure it will be tasty - maybe.

Old movies

Me: what are you watching
Matt: The Great Escape
Me: What is that about?
Matt:  (Dumb founded) escaping the prison camp
Me: Well it looks like they just escaped, so is it almost over...?
Matt: (silence)
Me: (checking the TV) why is there another hour?? They escaped!
Matt; Now they have to get caught - a lot of them die
Me: why the hell would I want to watch that!
Matt: I am going to bed

I found him in the bedroom watching the rest of it alone....